


In which Jared Kleinman finally opens up

by Michael_In_The_Shitter



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Evan Hansen, But bitch ain’t gon get it, Connor just enables him, Evan cheats lmao, Evans a dick, Gay Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Gay Jared Kleinman, He just wants happiness, Hes a dumb bitch lmao, Im kinda just venting here but like, Im not sure if itll get better lmao, Jared Kleinman Has Bad Parents, Jared and Evan get together, Jared drinks because emotions are overwhelming, Like. Heavy angst., Like.. He drinks because he can’t express, M/M, This is bad but Im sad as fuck so-, Trans Jared Kleinman, Trans Male Character, Underage Alcohol Consumption, Underage Drinking, but then they DONT, jared deserves better
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 06:02:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20059225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michael_In_The_Shitter/pseuds/Michael_In_The_Shitter
Summary: Jared had never been open with anyone, not his friends. Not his family. Nobody.Of course, he had as a child but... As he got older he learned it was better to just shove everything into a bottle and throw that bottle out the window.So when he finally broke down in front of his best friend, Evan Hansen.He didn't realize it'd go the way it did.





	1. Chapter 1

_Hands gripped the uncomfortable fabric of an old polo, tears rolling down onto the front of said shirt. _

_Jared Kleinman hadn't thought that the night would go this way, but it had._

_It started when the air got heavy with an uncomfortable silence, Jared had let a stupid "Because I love you." Slip through during a rant, an Evan caught on quicker than he had. And Jared didn't really remember what happened before he was a sobbing mess in the arms of his best friend. Spouting out apologies and honestly just digging his grave deeper than it already was. _

_Evan was silent for the most part, the occasional stuttered out, "It's okay." But other than that he'd resorted to just rubbing Jared's back. Which didn't exactly help the crumbling boy in the slightest, but whatever. It really only caught Jared's attention when a soft, "Hey." Left the blonde, and Jared found himself looking up at the boy, glossy eyes barely able to stay focused on one spot on Evan's face. _

_"I love you too."_

_And Jared felt himself completely freeze. Like he'd been standing in the sun and a spontaneous snowstorm pushed him off of his feet and threw him across the room. _

_"What?" _

_Was the only thing that left him, lips slightly parted in the way that read 'I know what you said I'm just panicking'_

_This couldn't be real. It couldn't. Evan was into everyone but him for all he knew._

_"I love you too." _

_Evan reiterated, soft smile warming Jared that little bit more that was needed for him to lean up and press his lips to the blonde's. Teary eyes clenching shut. And Evan kissed back. It was everything Jared wanted, everything he never thought he'd get. But they were there, in his bedroom. Lips pressed gingerly together._

_Jared was in heaven. And he assumed, maybe, Evan was too. _

_Pulling back, to catch a breath, heterochromatic eyes slid back open to meet the soft green eyes of the taller male. Who looked about as surprised as he was. Jared assumed that was a good thing, especially by the small laugh that left the other._

_"Wow." Was all Jared said in the moment, and it was all that was needed, really. Because Evan simply nodded in response._

_\-------_

Click back to the present and Jared was stepping into the restroom, hands stuffed in his pockets as he simply went to the bathroom for what most people do there. To use it for it's intended purpose of. Being a bathroom. 

So hearing some kids enter the bathroom was nothing, really. He simply slipped into a stall and did the thing most kids who used stalls did in. Being completely silent until said intruders left. Sit on his phone for a bit.

But his whole demeanor dropped as he recognized a, "I can't fucking believe we're doing this right now." As being Connor Murphy. What the hell?

A hushed, "Just be quiet, nobody- um. Nobody's gonna know." followed. 

And then nothing, nothing but hitched breaths.

Jared felt like he'd been stabbed, ready to just disintegrate. 

He flushed, stuffing his phone into his pocket, and then promptly shoved the door open.

"Jared." Evan practically said instantly, arms sliding away from an equally shocked looking Connor. "Jared it's not-"

"Then what the fuck is it, Evan?" Jared managed, swallowing the quiver in his voice. 

"I don't- I-" Evan glanced between the two males in the room, visible panic on his face. "It's just **not**." And Jared didn't say anything else, just shoving his way past the other two. Pushing the hood of his jacket up over his head. Slipping out the bathroom door and not even bothering to turn back to the faux desperate sounding, "Jared-"

Jared managed to slip out a back door, slipping into his car and slumping into his seat. Legs pulling to his chest. 

This had to be some stupid fucking joke.

It couldn't- 

Why. 


	2. Chapter 2

Jared tilted his head back, shot glass meeting his lips before being promptly shoved back onto his kitchen counter. 

Alcohol was usually a shitty tasting thing, but in Jared’s opinion mixing it with salt was even worse. Especially when you didn’t expect the taste. 

Cold hands pressed to warm cheeks, the ineed fingers of those hands being sued to sloppily wipe the salt source away. Jared had gotten home 45 minutes ago. His half-drunken mind deciding that he should stop crying just Incase someone came to the door.

That’s when the bottle came in handy, and this time the bottle was physical. 

Opening a cabinet and grabbing a box of cereal, Kleinman stumbled his way to his kitchen table. A stray binder hanging off the corner. Despite being overwhelmed, Jared knew that he shouldn’t drink with it on. 

He reluctantly dragged his phone towards him, blue eyes scanning the screen for a moment before he’d realized this glasses were on his forehead. Stupid.

About a million notifications instantly came into view, a few of them being from YouTube. Or some stray notification from Reddit. But the majority being from Evan, across multiple platforms, trying to apologize to him. Jared decided to ignore that by shoving his phone across the table. 

He was practically unfazed as the device stumbled off the end of the table. But after a few pieces of dry cereal were placed in his mouth. He actually calculated what he’d done and buried his face in his hands. 

Stupid. 

Jared stood up, stepping over to the counter and grabbing his crutch, the old bottle of liquor he’d previously just been taking mindless shots from. He flicked the cap off, watching it bounce across the floor. Before rattling to a stop and freezing against the tile floor. Jared grabbed his phone before he sat back down, taking a swig from the bottle. 

He cleared his notifications, unlocking his phone. 

_Was it bad that he wanted to text back?_

Another swig.

_Evan didn’t deserve his attention, why did he want text back?_

Another swig. 

_Fuck._

Jared opened his texting app, thumb quickly tapping on Evan’s contact, reading over the dozens on dozens of meaningless apologies.

**[Acorn<3]- **Jared seriously I’m sorry 

**[Acorn<3]****-** It didn’t mean anything. He didn’t mean anything. I love you. Please. 

**[Acorn<3]-**Jare. Please respond. I know you’re seeing these please just say something.

Those were the most recent three. 

_[Jared K.]- Do you?_

Was all he sent back.

**[Acorn<3]-** Do I?

[Jared K.]- Do you love me?

**[Acorn<3]- **I...

**[Acorn<3]-** Of course Jared. Why wouldn’t I?

[Jared K.]- Okay. 

And the phone was off again. 

Jared ran his thumb against the glass of his screen, the cracks catching the skin of his thumb. Loose shards of glass occasionally poking his skin. 

Jared wanted him back. 

He took another swig.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this is pretty bad  
Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> This is bad- I just need to write some shit before I fucking explode.
> 
> I'll write more later, I'll actually update this one when I can. But like.  
Yeah, sorry it's short this is just me venting.


End file.
